Monday, April 30, 2012


                          Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuhhhhh....Batman.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Express yourself

You can really express yourself through your clothes. Some wear only black (Mr. Cash). Others are more colorful (Ms. Perry). I like to be more obvious in my clothing choices.

Is it sad I really want this?

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


I find myself thinking this exact same thing everyday...

                                                  -Brought to you by "Sad Keanu Reeves"

Friday, April 20, 2012

Dinosaur Day

Iguanodon is like the Fonz of the dinosaurs. Aaaayyyyy


                                  The Stegosaurus is the Jared Leto emo dino of the Jurassic Period.

                                                          *forever crying on the inside*

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Light Bulb

Sometimes I feel like a halogen light bulb. Not the kind that are really bright, but the kind that are really dim and flickers constantly to annoy you. You can only hope that sometime soon it will be brighter.


“The funeral arts allows you to express your creative side because even though the brushes are different, the face is a little different because of the stiffness—but at the end of the day, it’s still a canvas and I’m a painter.”-

Wednesday, April 18, 2012


I bet my back would feel so much better if I tried Bikram Yoga  a.k.a let a random professional sweaty dude dance on your back.

Who am I kidding. Now accepting applications to dance on my back.

Friday, April 13, 2012


Now, I don't have any tattoos, but if I did...this would be it. Oh it would look particularly good if I had an outie, sadly I don't. I think I will stick to tattoo free for now.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012


This fear of bread has gone way to far. Poor Cat.


It's gone too far! TOO FAR!


Going into the presidential election year, I thought I'd reflect on my favorite president to date....

"I was watching a television program before, with a sort of a roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriends - apparently, because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. Then they brought the boyfriends out, and they all fought, right there on television. Toby, tell me: these people don't vote, do they?"

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

4-10-2012, Today's Professional World_Lesson 1

Apparently, the above is an acceptable professional hairstyle AKA no one in the office actually expects anything from you, so you're free to express yourself in anyway you wish. Irregardless of possessing intelligence or none at all, you maintain zero respect from peers, therefore judgment cannot be placed on those not worthy of judgment in the first place.

HOWEVER, the above earrings are considered non-professional attire in the 8-5 cubicle world. Irregardless of possessing intelligence or none at all, you still maintain zero respect from peers because let's face it, these earrings are longer than these office wench's remaining lifespan. Longer than the stick that's up their asses. Longer than it takes them to wet their depends.

Okay, I digress. Hey look, a poop gif.

Friday, April 6, 2012


Easter is upon us. Let's all remember what it's really about...


Thursday, April 5, 2012


Just thought I would share! Look at his face!


What is going on here and why do these babies keep attacking this poor man while he is naked?


Imitation is the highest form of flattery

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

What's That Smell

See that over there??? I just took a giant poop on your desk! Happy Work Day! 

Tuesday, April 3, 2012


Sometimes when you do a frantic naked shower inevitably fart rainbows.


Translates to: "Baby girl, Endor welcomes you."

Advice vs. Bear Grylls

A wise person once told me, "don't eat yellow snow." that person was not Bear Grylls.

Thongs all around..

She's like a thong. Not a fancy, sexy, or pretty thong like you would think, but more like the annoying string that gets so far up your ass that it needs to be removed using pliers.


That thing that goes bump in the night....that's just Nic Cage being awesome.

Who's watching the bears?

If I were a panda that knew karate... no one would probably know.

Monday, April 2, 2012


Sometimes I feel like a beer: Foamy & Bitter...and kinda gassy.